Mental YouTube

In honor of #sappytuesday, I thought it would be appropriate to write this little blog entry.

As a new parent, one is always looking for that great and lasting memory. You know, that moment you'll hang onto the rest of your life. When your little one is all grown up and going off to college, you can look at her in the eye and say, "I remember when..." Trust me, I've made some very special memories with my little one. Sadie (@mercedesburr on twitter) constantly brings me smiles and joy. She's the apple of my eye! But last night was incredibly special. It brought tears to this softies eyes!

One of the perks of my job is the opportunity to spend a lot of time at home with my family. I now have the chance to be there for my family and not be completely exhausted when I am there. Just two months ago, Sadie wouldn't let me put her to bed... she only wanted Mama. This, of course, caused great anxiety for me... I want to do everything with her! I want her to trust me and want to be with me! I want her to respond, "yes daddy! read to me!" Slowly but surely, she is starting to understand that I am home... and I'm here to pour love onto her! It's been such a joy to see her open up more and more to me. Now we spend evenings without mama.. and she doesn't cry for mama at all. We have nights where we do supper, go for walks, play in the park, share snack and Little Einsteins, have a warm bath, and then special reading time right before bed. I assure you, my heart is so full!

Last night's reading time was simply amazing. It will forever be a YouTube video in my mind. One I can replay over and over again. We just got done reading... and as I like to do before I sing to her and put her in her bed, I asked what she did that day. Sadie really enjoys talking... if you ask her, she will fire up a great conversation. She said, "played Simon Says with mama!" (she didn't btw but that's ok.. she can imagine she did if she wants to) I was like, "awww how fun!! Simon says eat your cheerios!" (she was munching on cheerios) Quickly she took a little cheerio out of her bowl and started munching on it like a little rabbit. Then her eyes brightened and she said, "Simon Says give my daddy a big hug!" And she gave me the biggest tightest hug ever! Oh gosh.... daddy's heart was full... I still tear up thinking about it.

Pure unadulterated love. An innocent heart that doesn't know stress, pain, lies, greed, selfishness, or pride... her heart is clean. She knows that she has parents who love her, she has her favorite toys... and her life is perfect... I never want her to grow up and find that this world is hard. She doesn't deserve it! She deserves to have a perfect loved filled life. She is so precious to me.

Being a spiritual man, I had to think about my relationship with my Creator. Throughout scripture, God is referred to as Father. This brings conflicting emotions because some have had great fathers, many have not. But the problem is, we look at God as a Father through the eyes of someone who has been tainted by the severity and awfulness of this world... we don't look at Him through the eyes of the innocent. We need to take a lesson from Sadie... clear our hearts of the crap around us... from our failures and frustrations... from the disappointments and heart break.. and look at God through eyes of innocence... Maybe then we will long to hug Him. We'll want to express our souls intimate and natural love for our Creator.

~Matt